Smiling faces as arms interlock lazily over shoulders and caps tossed to the heavens- tell tale signs of another school year accomplished- milestones met, friendships grown and memories lived. Among the smiles and laughter I think this is the year I am ready. And yet, once again, just when I think I am ready, I am reminded time will continue to march forward at a ferocious pace and I realize I am not. I desperately want time to just stop in this time and place. And while my every fiber wants time to stand still, what I have come to realize is what I want is simply not, nor will ever be, possible. Time was not intended nor should ever stand still. Time must move forward for it is in time’s passage where memories are made and moments that will reflect a life fully lived and a soul fully loved offered. And while my mind may, at times, disagree, in the depth of my soul I know this truth. My heart has lived in the reality that the passage of time allows for moments of grace beyond imagination and has experienced the unfolding of beauty in ways far beyond my understanding.
Yet, I still wrestle with life’s what ifs, would be, and should haves as I ponder the time and space between when my little one graced this earth and now. I wonder, had my little one lived would we still roll the paper across the floor and plan a summer of “Adventure Wednesdays?” I wonder what the list would look like. I wonder would it be a bundle of independent adventures split evenly between a brother and sister or would it be comprised of sweet simple days of basking lazily on a beach or lingering in the summer’s days sweltering sun?
And despite the questions with which I will always wrestle, what I have come to realize is it not matters what might have been or what would have become of our “Adventure Wednesdays.” While it breaks my heart, I know now, “Adventure Wednesdays” served their beautiful purpose and delivered beautiful memories that will always live in the crevices of my heart. I know now these days could not be continued in perpetuity but were the catalyst for counter-side conversations of summer time dreams. These are the conversations that now confirm a brave one who has tasted sweet freedom and is ready to fly. Memories of “Adventure Wednesday’s” are the reminders that summer days will all too soon give way to cool autumn winds and another school year, more milestones, friendships grown, and memories. “Adventure Wednesdays” are the reminder of precious moments, memories and milestones that one day may soothe a broken heart or be the catalyst to a dream realized. And so as we set out on this summer, it is my wish and prayer, that in the coming months, wings soar in the gentle breezes and bodies exhale and stretch in the midday sun. May the moments and memories of this summer be your Adventure Wednesdays. May the beautiful moments and memories about unfold settle deeply into the crevices of your heart and feed your soul for a lifetime to come.